Just let me park the damn car!

My husband came with me and the kids to have their pictures taken with Santa yesterday. I needed the moral support (as far as I know flasks at the grocery store are frowned upon) as well as someone to shake the toys and make silly faces as I took pictures*. Santa visits our local grocery store, a place my husband rarely goes, however, he is not unfamiliar with parking lots or traveling with kids. But despite these facts, he still makes me want to beat him with my travel Starbucks mug every time we’re in a parking lot looking to park.

It never fails, he always picks one of two places to park: the spot closest to the door or the spot closest to the exit. Now admittedly, those spots sound like good choices, but only if you’re sans kids.

There seems to be two clearly different ideologies when it comes to parking, the “Shopping Without Kids” way and the “Oh Crap, we’re parents now, nothing will ever be simple again” way. I miss the days of “hopping out” to run into a store quickly, clutching my husband’s hand as we browse, talking about life and current events and how awesome that cream suede sofa would look in our living room. (We bought it btw, and it WAS awesome.. until formula, spit-up, pen and a cookie or two got all over it... le sigh)

My husband must miss those days too cause he’s stuck in “Shopping Without Kids” frame of mind when it comes to parking.

When I’m in a parking lot (without Big J cause he never lets me drive unless he’s had a few) I look for the spot closest to the shopping cart coral that’s closest to the door. That way when the shopping is done I don’t have to either a) drag the kids across the parking lot to stow the cart and then drag them back to the car all the while yelling “do NOT let go of my hand, we’re in a parking lot, it’s dangerous!”, or b) strap them into their car seats, lock the doors and run with the cart, with my head turned back towards the car so I can keep an eye on them, praying I don’t run smack into a car pulling out of a spot.

My husband always looks for the spot closest to the exit. He hates parking lots with the same firey passion I save for pap tests and women who wear cross-trainers with a skirt suit (I don’t care how comfortable they are, you look like a reject from 1988!). He wants the least amount of driving in the parking lot and the least amount of hassle to get out. This is usually okay when we’re together, unless it’s pouring rain... or a blizzard, but hey, this is Canada, how often does that happen?

When I manage to find this most perfect parking spot I always drive in. And if the space directly in front of it is empty I don’t drive through. Why? When we're out and about %99.9999 we're dragging kids with us, and if there are kids there is usually any number or combination of the following to cart along: strollers, diaper bags, sports equipment, blankies, loveys, reusable bags, bumbos, booster seats, and bags containing toys/clothes/snacks/crafts/crayons/sippy cups/ binkys/more clothes/camera. Backing into a spot or driving through so that someone can park behind you just makes it that much more annoying when it comes time to unload or load the car.

My husband LOVES to back into and drive through spots. So much fun trying to pull a double stroller out of the back of the car when it’s 4” away from a concrete wall. Or better yet, trying to load groceries in when the cars on either side of you are straddling the yellow lines and some old lady pulls her boat of a car right up to your bumper. I swear, I have no idea what he's thinking sometimes.

I guess I should cut him some slack, he doesn’t go shopping with us often (THANK GAWD!) so he’s not used to thinking about these things. Maybe if he’d just let me do the driving every now and then... but that’s another rant altogether...

* The Santa pictures thing, they take pics too but they're free so you're allowed to take as many as you want with your own camera as well.